Self Esteem is the most important quality. You must feel deserving of success before you can give it. You can’t give away anything you don’t own. The value must be within before it can be given away. You’ve got to own love before you can share it.
1. Look at yourself through other people’s eyes.
Imagine being your spouse, your employee, your employer. How would you like anyone like you? How would I like to be a customer of someone like me? What do people think when you appear before them? What first impression do you make? Groomed? Optimistic? Polite? Confident? Assured? Thoughtful? Aware? Capable? Healthy? Responsible? Humble? Poised? Peaceful? Happy?
2. What are your Blessings? Accomplishments? Goals?
Your B.A.G. Write them out. What are you thankful for? Accomplishments? Are you proud of them? What are your dreams, ambitions, and goals. This you much write-up, post everywhere, think about constantly, believe in totally, and intend to achieve. Dreams, ambitions. Write your talents and abilities and things you like to do. Don’t dwell on your flaws. What do you really enjoy doing? What are you good at? What makes you unique and special in some way?
3. Set your own internal standards.
Do not compare yourself to anyone else. Define success in your own terms.
- Am I going where I want to go?
- Am I doing what I want to do?
- Am I becoming who I want to become? Concentrate on being your best every day.
4. Use encouraging affirmative language.
Everything you say about yourself is recorded subconsciously. It makes your own self-image, created by habitual repetition. Be complimentary rather than derogatory. Don’t say “I can’t”, say “I can.” Not “I’ll try’, say “I will”. Not, “I have to” but I choose to”. Not should have, but, will do. Not if only, but next time. Not problem, but opportunity. Not difficult, but challenging. Not stressed, but motivated. Not, “I, me and my”, but “you and your”. Not hate but love. No one needs more criticism. Affirmations, or “positive self talk,” are the best way to maintain or build up self-esteem. Affirmations deliberately lock out negative put-downs by displacing negative attitudes with new success attitudes.
5. Set a winning example in your life style.
Appearance provides a story about how you feel inside. Project on the outside how you feel inside. Thank those who compliment you. Don’t flaunt material success. Attention seekers need constant approval. Have the quiet confidence to let your actions speak for you. Listen. Remember: Give honor and respect. Have the real inner value.
6. Keep a self-development plan on-going at all times.
Plan it on paper, the knowledge you’ll require, the behavior modifications you’ll achieve, and the changes in your life that will result. Find mentors and role models with proven records of success.
7. Find a positive support group.
Get involved with positive minded people who meet once a month to discuss ways to achieve goals. Never share your problems with anyone not directly involved with the solution. Share your problems with people who have solved the same problems, who can give you positive suggestions and direct you toward solutions. Don’t engage in group griping, pity parties, or grudge collecting. Too many dwell on past hurts, missed opportunities, and politics. Don’t waste your energy rehashing mistakes. Forgive yourself; forgive others for their failures. Golden rule: ‘Do to others as you would have them do to you.’ View failure as fertilizer and a learning experience. Always seek a different approach from winners who inspire your creativity and imagination.
8. Wake up happy.
Optimism is a learned attitude. It’s an ingrained habit. Don’t listen to depressing news in the morning , nor read it or watch it. Listen to a self-help tape on your way to work or to upbeat music. Smile at everyone you meet. A smile tells people you care, love and share. It’s a universal code that tells “I’m okay and you are super too.” WINNERS DESERVE TO WIN IN ADVANCE. We’re born with equal rights, if not attributes. Believe in the value of your own unique potential. Winners believe: I’m glad I am me and I’d rather be me than anyone else in the world. I’m always doing my best. I deserve the best that life has to offer.
THIS IS YOUR NEW SELF TALK FROM NOW ON.
Self esteem is the way we feel about ourselves in a non-material way – a spiritual way. Winners believe in their dreams, even when they have nothing but a dream to hold onto.
Notes on “Self Esteem from Psychology of Success: Developing your Self-Esteem’ by Denis Waitley
Note: Get articles to read on forgiveness if that is an issue for you (it is for all of us at one time or another). It is impossible to be a winner with a lack of forgiveness hanging around to tug at your subconscious. Let it go. When we hang on to a grudge we are allowing the one who offended us to continue hurting us. Isn’t that absurd? Think about that. Read Wayne Dyer’s chapter on ‘forgiveness’ (and the one on ‘surrender’) in his book: “ You’ll See It When You Believe it.” ayn
Focus of Happy People
Do you think happy people are blind to reality? Or, do you think they see things that the rest of us miss? I think
the answer may include a little of both, but I also think that, in the final analysis people are happy because they
make up their minds to be. Let me explain what I mean.
Most happy people aren’t blind to the pain in the world, but because they have chosen to be happy, they don’t focus
their attention on it. They don’t let the cruelty and injustices that are undeniably present in the world rob them of the
pleasures and beauty that are also undeniably there.
And, it is entirely possible that happy people can see things that others don’t, because their power of paying attention
is enormous. Your attention, when you really focus it, is a lot like a search light. When you focus on beauty, you
are simply going to see more beauty than other people do.
The same thing happens when you focus on a problem; you see it everywhere you look, even though people around
you must have it pointed out to them. The challenge is using that laser-like focus to find the solution.
Where is your attention focused these days? Do see mostly problems, or solutions? Are you surrounded by people
you enjoy and appreciate or are you surrounded by people who give you nothing but trouble? Does life send you an
unending cavalcade of pleasures or a litany of pain? And finally, how could changing what you focus your attention
on change the results you are getting?Lou Tice, The Pacific Institute http://www.thepacificinstitute.com
